Blessed

" All of my friends think that I'm blessed,
They don't know my head is a mess. "
( Love this song a lot !! )

There was so many things happened recently. So many people around me including me were/are in a emo period. All of us just can't find our way out and feel real helpless.


I heard what they said,

I asked what they want,

I answered what they wish.

Sometimes I'm glad that I can be that role to help them, share with them,be there with them.

But is that really work ?
Is that really what help them ?
I wonder ....

Today I was giving advice to one of my friend and said:
You shouldn't be like this anymore. You should know how to reject and say " NO".

But what am I doing now ? hahaha~ feel so ... pointless that I said out those words. Even I know I don't mind to listen, but somehow, I still can't ... I can't.. huff... I can't even find a word to describe my feeling now. It is a mix feeling !


There is a line between a real friend and listener. But I guess no one can get what is the difference. I know what is it. And I know which one am I. I hope to change, but every time thing happens, and I just play back my own role and can't change it anymore.


I know I shouldn't ..

I know I should..

Somehow,
I still... remain the same me.


That's why I always have a wall with them?
That's why they never get close to me?
Finally I get what she meant last time.
That is the real me.


I really hope all of you get back to the normal routine as soon as possible.
You.. You... You.... and You... =)
( Pray hard !)

p/s: What I learn is how to listen and answer, but I never learn how to share.